This seemed like an apt metaphor for today….for more than today…I just feel beaten up by my work-life and it’s exhausting. I’m sort of on vacation, but not really, because I had papers to mark for my other job. If I hadn’t had papers to mark I’d still be on vacation, not because I had anything to do or anywhere to go, but because I had time leftover from my vacation allocation that I hadn’t taken and so it was sort of forced vacation. But even with that forced vacation, I still can’t really be off because I had year-end purchases that I have to provide acknowledgement of receipt for and so I had to be at the hatchery today to deal with one, and go into my work email to deal with another that still hasn’t shown up, and there I found an end-of-year travel claim for someone that needed my approval because they’d not sent it where it should have gone….and, and, and.
So a really old egg beater that hangs in my pantry and usually reminds me of my grandmothers…instead felt like a descriptor for how I feel lately.
Have you ever felt that people want “something” from you…but you aren’t sure what that is…. and no matter how you try to meet their vague and unclear needs…..you just can’t do anything right…and you just feel crapped on for trying to be something that you apparently aren’t….and if only you knew what you were supposed to be then maybe you could know what direction to take…be it where they want you to go or not.
That’s sort of how I feel 🥺
