I have a few sets of cards on biases and fallacies…and creative thinking. I keep the fallacy and bias cards in a dish on my desk at work and flip through them from time to time to remind myself that biases are often unintentional and, while we are often good at seeing them in others, we are often blind to our own. It’s good practice to sit back and ask ourselves why we reacted a certain way rather than assume that our thoughts are valid and justifiable. If we think a certain way…are our assumptions fair and rational, or are we exposing biases that are affecting our judgement.
The cards are from The School of Thought and you can flip through them online by clicking on the boxes around the centre image. I encourage everyone to poke around and think about them…it’s good for your brain to think about how it misinterprets so many things.
What’s your bias? – https://yourbias.is
What’s your logical fallacy? – https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com
But there is a third card set that I’ve not really used that much. One stuck out at me some time ago and I kept trying to find a triangle to photograph as a metaphor for the particular card, but I couldn’t find one that I liked so, eventually (today), I made one out of peppercorns.
Why peppercorns?
Because I just bought a jar of mixed black and white peppercorns and those visually articulated where my mind went on something today.
But a triangle has three sides and that’s only two colours (or non-colours if you will) Paige!
I know…that’s why I pulled out another jar…of pink peppercorns.
OK, so what’s this all about Paige? What’s on the card?
It’s called “The Third Story” and it says:
Consider the impartial perspective.
We’re often blind to our own assumptions and our perceptions are coloured by our own insider understanding.
What might someone with no knowledge or bias think?
That makes me think of a triangle….there are almost always more than two sides to every situation, story, conflict. We see ours, and they see theirs….each is someone’s reality, but is it the right reality? The world is not black and white, it is made up of so many shades of grey, and a myriad of other, more colourful, options. It’s always useful to stop and reflect on why you see things one way, why they see it another….and see if there are additional ways to see things. Like through the eyes of someone completely unfamiliar with the situation and has no personal investment….
The Third Side….The Third Story.
Many decades ago I worked with a man I generally couldn’t stand, not always, sometimes we found something to connect on and I’d think he had a few redeeming qualities…the feeling was largely mutual, but we had to work together and we figured it out…mostly….sometimes. But he did say something that has stuck with me….when we were having some heated debate….
“And that’s why they make chocolate and vanilla, Paige.”
It’s stuck with me for a couple of reasons.
- He was right…different people have different preferences and the opportunity to make a choice is valuable.
- He was wrong…..because some people like strawberry…..so that’s why they make Neapolitan
- He was a wuss who couldn’t debate well and so would simply throw out something equivalent to a “whatever” that just ends the debate on a shitty note because, like “whatever” and “We will have to agree to disagree” it merely send the message that he wasn’t interested in trying to understand anyone’s perspective but his own.
I think this world would be a much better place if we could put aside our biases and try to understand each other’s perspectives and reasons for thinking the way we each do. Instead of immediately leaping to “You don’t see things the way I do? You must be an idiot <or insert whatever insult comes to mind>” we need to stop and ask a simple question….
“Why do you feel that way?”
Not “How could you think that?”
Not “Why would anyone think THAT?”
Not “It’s crazy to think that!”
…or some alternate variation on that theme….
All but the first are insulting and are immediately going to get the other’s back up and put them on the defensive. We jump to insults and disparaging thoughts so quickly when we encounter someone who disagrees with our thinking. You are never going to break down walls with questions like those….only reinforce them and make everyone dig in deeper.
And if you unlock the secret to always doing that and never knee-jerk reacting?
Tell me how.
I’m a work in progress but, like everyone…I still trigger under certain circumstances.
The Third Story…..