Kind of my entire day…..well, maybe three quarters of it.
Today was a meeting after a meeting after a meeting…
It started with an always great biweekly chat, followed by a 15 minute break before another very interesting chat with people on the other end of the country about something I am barely competent in but which one of my newer colleagues is very competent in. That was followed by about an hour to do some prep work, and then a chat with another colleague to get ready for a potentially confrontational presentation with another group.
Then I worked through lunch and nibbled on my salad which ended up wilting as I sorted out my thoughts for above presentation.
Then two of us presented on a topic of importance, fielded some questions that made (at least) me angry …”No that’s a really stupid and ecologically irresponsible idea!!!” (not that I’m opinionated or anything…) before ending ten minutes late for the next meeting…..
And that was another somewhat confrontational meeting about office stuff that is turning everyone involved into four-year-old children arguing about who is the king of the castle.
That also went ten minutes over so I was basically (read: completely) unprepared for the next meeting (to which I was again ten minutes late because everyone schedules these stupid things on top of each other) in which I learned there was ‘homework’ I hadn’t done and therefore wasn’t truly prepared for the expectations tossed at me. Luckily one of my colleagues was quasi-prepared and filled in some of the blanks but when I was tasked with reviewing something and asked “could you tell me exactly what you are asking me to do?“….they couldn’t, which left me in a really good position because it made it patently apparent that they were hoping that I somehow knew what they needed, when they didn’t actually know what it was they needed and were just hoping that we’d be able to do something? No, you need to do more work to make it clear what you need rather than assuming we will figure that out for you.
Nah, that’s not ok.
And when all that was done…and I had a moment at the end of the day to breath…in my low blood sugar haze because I had eaten virtually nothing all day….an email landed in my inbox…at 4:something….saying “Urgent, must be completed by COB today!”
Are you F*cking kidding me?
It’s past COB.
Ottawa closed hours ago.
I raged into another office, and basically said that I was either going to cry because my blood sugar level was so low…or say something completely unprofessional.
They suggested I close the door and then proceed.
Good suggestion.
I do love a strong network of women and I am starting to try to find ways to connect women in the workplace. Women are so often isolated by social conventions. Can’t talk about that, don’t know if other women think/feel/rage the way I do. It’s a slow and cautious exploration, because there are some who (horribly) don’t support other women and would throw them under the bus to make personal gains. “Are you going to take what I/we say/think/feel and use it to keep other women down and promote your own agenda? Or are you going to try to lift all women up in the workplace.” It’s hard to know. There are those that I KNOW the answer to…and there are those I don’t. The latter are the dangerous ones. They smile and nod, and then cut you up behind your back.
I’m so tired of politics. I used to be fighting for my own mental health and productivity. That was difficult. Now I’m fighting of the same for others…some not even on my own team. “So wait….we are going to stuff a staff member, who has no other teammates but has built a community with a half dozen organizational colleagues, on a different floor with absolutely no one they know or work with?”
How is this ok!?
I’m tired of fighting. But when I see entitled bullshit, I can’t help but call it out.
Stop!
Wait!
Shut up and let others say their peace!
If they aren’t willing or feel unheard in doing so…my sense of ethics kicks into high gear and I will advocate for the underdog. Like the person whose manager wasn’t really aware they were affected, whose manager’s manager is away, and who everyone else just was seemingly oblivious to.
Not my responsibility, but I couldn’t help but stick out my arm and say “Hey! What about them?”
That got sorted out, I think. But could we just stop playing schoolyard politics and sort out what everyone needs, individually, to do their best work?
It’s just never going to be the same across the board.
<sigh>
I’m too old for this shit.
