It feels like it’s been a long haul. Probably because it has been. There’s been this thing going on in my head for far too long. Something that has taken up residence and has been really, really difficult to kick out. When I wake up in the middle of the night, it’s immediately in my thoughts. When I wake up in the morning, it’s there. When I walk the trails, hike, go for a run. It’s there, making me angry, making me disengage from some things. Making me feel….less.
This past week I had a couple of conversations, two in particular on the same day, that seem to have dimmed the light on the thing, if just a little bit. But it’s a start. I think a big component of it was finally feeling a bit of validation, someone else has had a very similar experience … it’s not me…. and …. it’s not ‘just’ me… That seems to have helped a little bit.
The images?
Just playing with one of my Lensbaby optics today a little bit. I really love the imperfectness of the images that come out of these things. We are so hung up on perfection in all things, I love the intentional imperfection and how the images ‘feel’.
I have a few different sets of creativity cards to try to poke me into writing, painting, drawing, photographing things…. most people probably buy positive or optimistic motivational cards…these ones are a bit different … Inner Fucking Peace is the set. It kinda spoke to me, and the first card I flipped made me laugh.
When I ended the 365 on Dec 31st I’d hoped I’d still keep the camera at hand. But who was I kidding. I’ve walked this road before, I knew I’d probably be no better at maintaining the habit without the self-imposed pressure of a 365 challenge hanging over me. It would appear that I am going to have to impose some new photography challenge on myself.
