Limp & Lifeless

Haven’t we all been feeling, or at least felt, this way? It’s been a rough ride, rougher for some than others, but still rough in some way, shape, or form….for everyone. Sure, I’m an introvert and so that helps, a bit. But even introverts have a limit and still need contact with others. I had a call with a co-worker yesterday, well, technically I guess she isn’t my co-worker anymore since she now works in a separate branch of the government, but I keep hoping that we will eventually be in the same working group again. She called me up to ask about access to some fish for experimental purposes, for someone else. She didn’t have to call ‘me’ on the topic at all, but I assume that, like me, any excuse for contact with others that you used to have frequent contact with is worthwhile. She’s an introvert too. I think we are more alike than not, in many ways.

And once the work part of the conversation was over, the next hour was an enjoyable end-of-Friday conversation that bounced around on a dozen topics. And it was nice to spend the end of a Friday afternoon laughing (and venting).

I’m terrible at making the effort to engage; I come up with so many excuses to myself of why I can’t/shouldn’t/won’t. And then too much time goes by, so I feel guilty and then I am too embarrassed to reach out because I assume the person at the other end must think terribly of me and probably wouldn’t want to talk to me after I’ve been so uncommunicative….and so it spirals.

I’m exceptionally good at self-isolating, always have been. But I am so deeply appreciative when contact and conversation does happen.Everyone is feeling a little bit (or a lot) wilted and faded I imagine. This has been, and still is, a tough slog.

I don’t know about you, but I’m just tired, no…exhausted… to my very core.

Don’t forget to care for yourself.