So here’s a funny story……
A couple of weeks ago I scheduled a work trip to the Island for a day. I invited someone I used to work with years ago, and who I hope to work with again sometime soon. She asked if I could carry a container across in my vehicle and if it could be left at the facility we would be going to, for its owner to pick up at some later time. It’s an awkwardly large metal container.
I said of course, it’s not the first time I’ve transported it and left it at the same facility, for later collection.
That was my first mistake.
So it was dropped off for me and hung out in my garage for a week before the day of said day trip arrived.
The day before we were scheduled to travel, someone emailed me to ask if the work vehicle in our group was booked out. I replied that yes, and it was me, but that I could change my plans and use my own truck if there was no other easy option for him. So I rebooked the vehicle for him and Kirk rode the motorcycle so that I could take our truck across on the ferry. If I’d had the DFO vehicle I’d have had it way in the back, out of sight.
That was my second mistake.
On the morning in question, the container was loaded into the back seat of my truck, directly behind me.
That was my third mistake.
I headed for the ferry terminal at 5:40am to catch the 6:25am ferry and meet up with my passenger. As I approached the terminal gates I was a bit horrified to see that the signs above all lanes said “Possible 1 sailing wait”.
I never make reservations for this particular sailing.
This was mistake number four.
I pulled up to the window, relatively optimistic that I would get on the ferry after looking on the app and seeing that the ferry was reporting at 83% capacity. Still a pretty high probability of getting on.
I paid for my ticket and, just as I was about to pull away, the woman suddenly said “What’s that in the back seat? A BBQ?”
“No”, I said, nonchalantly,” it’s just a dewar.” and I rolled my window down.
Mistake number five.
“It has a sticker!” she said…”What is it, exactly?”
Me: “A liquid nitrogen dewar, but it’s empty.”
Spoiler Alert: This was apparently not the correct response
Attendant: “THAT’S not allowed on board!!!”
Me: “What? I’ve carried it across a few times before, it’s empty.”
Attendant: “It doesn’t matter, it has a sticker!!”
Me: “But…it’s empty!”
Attendant: “But it has a sticker.”
Me: “Yes, we’ve established that it has a sticker, but the material that the sticker denotes is not currently contained within the container.”
Attendant: “Do you have your paperwork?”
Me: “What paperwork?”
Attendant: “Your paperwork to carry dangerous goods on board!”
Me: (Truly baffled at this point) “But it’s empty, there’s nothing dangerous inside it, it’s just a big empty metal container!”
Attendant: “Do you have paperwork to show that?”
Me: “I think we’ve already established that I have no paperwork for an empty metal container.”
Attendant: “Here, take this dangerous goods flag and put it on your dash. Drive down lane 1 with your four way flashers on and the supervisor will meet you at the bottom. I’m sorry, but you probably won’t be on this ferry.”
SHIT!
So I obliged and headed down to the bottom of lane 1, where I was met by the attendant, who sent me down to the front of lane 65, my own empty lane, to meet the supervisor who would decide the fate of my travel that day.
When I arrived at lane 65, the empty lane to which I had been banished, for my innocent, but apparently illegal transgression, I parked the truck and a friendly fellow came over. He looked into my back seat and proceeded to ask all the same questions and receive all the same answers from me, including, “Seriously, it’s empty, I’ll open it and stick my arm in to prove it.”
He noted the number on the sticker and invited me into his office next to the ramp that I had a sinking feeling I would never drive across. I was wondering if I’d be able to get hold of my traveling companion who had taken an earlier ferry from Bowen Island and would be walking on to meet me….or perhaps would not be meeting me….
The supervisor flipped through his binder of numbers and couldn’t locate the number in question, so he turned to his computer to search it. He found it and said “Liquid nitrogen, oh that’s not allowed for transport unless it in something called a….”
“Dewar” I supplied. “The empty thing in my back seat that does not currently contain said dangerous product is the thing that the product that I am not carrying with me would normally be carried in.”
He looked me over and seemed to decide that my obvious shock at the furor surrounding my empty cargo was genuine. He said “Well, since you don’t have any paperwork, let’s do some up for you, I’ll probably get in trouble for this, you might too, but let’s see what happens.”
He them pulled out a form, had me write a few things in it, he put the information on the product that I was not carrying in the boxes, and then noted the quantity as zero. He signed it and put a great big red stamp across the page before leading me back out and directing me back to my truck. He then handed the paperwork to the person in charge of loading the bottom deck of the ferry.
I got back in the truck and was surprised when the attendant then waved me on board……first!
After all of that, on a ferry that now had a one sailing wait, I was the absolute first vehicle, the first person even….foot passengers hadn’t even started to board…..to be ushered on to the ferry. I couldn’t help but giggle at the humour in all of it.
I parked, locked the truck, and went up to the front of the ferry and sat down to wait for the foot passengers to come aboard. As my friend and colleague came through I waved her over to the table and told her my story.
“Oh, I didn’t even think to tell you because I thought you knew…..you should have thrown a blanket over it!”
Now someone tells me this useful nugget? I learned a few lessons that day.
At the other end, my inside giggling continued, because that green sheet of paper emblazoned with DG (Dangerous Goods) sitting on my dash also meant that we would be booted off the boat first, and on the road at the front of the pack.
My trips are rarely dull.