November 6, 2015 – I’m feeling anything but eloquent this late at night, and after the past couple of days I just feel a little bit like I am surviving, nothing more. Everything seems disjointed.
Today seemed like a bit of a whirlwind; we hosted Dad’s Celebration of Life down at the Yacht Club Kirk and I belong to, but before the family and friends arrived we had a short period of calm and I used the little breather to catch a quick shot across the boat sheds and out to the harbour where the most massive container ship I’ve ever seen has sat for a few days, looming over absolutely everything in the Inlet. It’s about the best I could manage today, I was reasonably certain that I wouldn’t be able to take anything else, and I was right.
Dad passed away just over a month ago now, and it’s right around today, three years ago, that Mom had her stroke, and then 10 days later succumbed to sepsis. Having family and family friends sharing stories of both Mom and Dad, as well as grandparents and other lost family, hit me like a brick a few times.
Breathe, just breathe.
In the past number of years, living far away from the rest of my family, it was normal to only see Dad once a year or so. I think because of that there has been this little part of me that wanted to believe that he wasn’t really gone. And I think that’s what makes having a gathering difficult to face, because it finally becomes real when people say that he will be dearly missed. Every time I heard that it was a like a little stake being driven into my heart. It was real, and I was forced to face that he is really gone.
Keep breathing.
Kirk put together a wonderful collection of scanned photographs that looped and followed his life from birth onwards. What a different world he was born into, and the stories that his brothers shared were fabulous, and funny, examples of things that would probably get kids into a world of trouble today.
The gathering to remember Dad was small; most of the people we thought would come did, but there were a couple of surprises that were wonderful. I thought three hours would be plenty, but it wasn’t enough time to really have conversations of the depth I would have liked with everyone.
There is never enough time…. :`(
25 comments
breathe…..I can tell you it does get easier but it never stops hurting even 23 years later…..the memories are always there but you always look for that one last conversation……hugs to you….
Thank you Maureen
So good to hug you today. You’re an extraordinary woman. Time seemed to have stood still for a brief moment today seeing you and Kirk and Afton after so many years.
More hugs sent your way.
I don’t know about extraordinary, but it was great to see you too Anina. And I did not realize that you had a connection to the yarn shop in the Village just a few blocks from my doorstep. We will have to get together for a coffee in either in the Village or here at our place at some point.
The first time I got to meet your dad my cousin was at the home coming in Rorketon, I do believe he thought I was crazy. I don’t think I was that funny but your Dad was red in the face laughing at me, I have it on tape
Thanks for sharing that memory Donna, I’d love to see it someday 🙂
Keep breathing. One foot in front of the other. ((hugs))
Working on it….
I think that is what a celebration of life does, brings us to the reality of what has happened while we are surrounded by those who loved and/or appreciated the one who is now gone. Hugs, big hugs.
Thank you Kim
I know it’s tough Paige. Surround yourself with those who will know what you need.
(Hug)
Ta
A beautiful tribute Paige, Kirk, Derek and Julie to a man with a beautiful heart and soul. Love prevails. xo
I was glad you could make it Margot, it was lovely to see you, and it’s been too long.
My condolences.
Thank you Laura
Wish I could have been there. The 6th was my parents’ wedding anniversary so it is quite a coincidence that you had it on that date. My Mom always had a special place in her heart for your Dad and his brothers. I don’t know that she knew Ted as well as Rae and your dad. Hugs to you, I can relate to feeling disconnected and then bam it hits you. I too lived away and now that I am closer to home I miss them more than ever. Now it is real.
There was a pretty big age gap between each of them, so it’s not surprising that she didn’t know them equally well. But that is an interesting coincidence. The day that Derek was in town and we were putting Dad’s obituary together, October 8th, we realized that it would have been Mom and Dad’s anniversary had they still been together. Life is full of strange coincidences.