Repost – Why We’re All Moral Hypocrites

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Have you ever interacted with people that leave you wondering if they are a modern day incarnation of Jekyll and Hyde? Highly intelligent people who act like badly behaved children and who are generally incapable of seeing that their behaviour is harmful to others? Or maybe they do know, and just don’t care, because they think they are superior, or above reproach somehow.

High maintenance people drain me. Mainly because they can’t see themselves the way others see them. Or if they do, they are positive it is unjust. They can’t look in the mirror. We all see ourselves differently than others see us, but not usually so massively so. These types have to promote themselves by putting down others. They have a sense of entitlement. They do what they want, when they want to, and expect others to do things for them when they feel it would be “easier” for them. However, they assume they can do everything better than anyone else could, and put down the efforts of others as being substandard to their own. They coach, but even their coaching has a subtle tone of superiority. They talk a lot and are frequently full of questions. The high maintenance person thrives on power, a sense of control. The more information they can extract from those around them, the better they feel, they can use it against others in some future situation. And the more information they can spew forward, the more intelligent they think they appear – when in reality they just come off as pompous and insecure. The person who can say something concisely gains far more respect than the individual who won’t give up the floor and talks to the point of babbling. They are seldom satisfied, there is always some negative to every experience, they always have something to add. They are often critical of others (even if not outwardly so.) They tend to hold others to certain standards. Whether or not those specific expectations are reasonable is subjective. They tend to hold fast to their personal opinions, and are reluctant to let go of them.

I had an irritating day and this article, which has been tucked into a folder for a long time, suddenly seemed like an appropriate post today.

Why We’re All Moral HypocritesRobin Nixon | July 07, 2008

Most of us, whether we admit it or not, are moral hypocrites. We judge others more severely than we judge ourselves.

Mounting evidence suggests moral decisions result from the jousting between our knee-jerk responses (think “survival instinct”) and our slower, but more collected evaluations. Which is more responsible for our self-leniency?

To find out, a recent study presented people with two tasks. One was described as tedious and time-consuming; the other, easy and brief. The subjects were asked to assign each task to either themselves or the next participant. They could do this independently or defer to a computer, which would assign the tasks randomly.

Eighty-five percent of 42 subjects passed up the computer’s objectivity and assigned themselves the short task – leaving the laborious one to someone else. Furthermore, they thought their decision was fair. However, when 43 other subjects watched strangers make the same decision, they thought it unjust.

Time to think

The researchers then “constrained cognition” by asking subjects to memorize long strings of numbers. In this greatly distracted state, subjects became impartial. They thought their own transgressions were just as terrible as those of others.

This suggests that we are intuitively moral beings, but “when we are given time to think about it, we construct arguments about why what we did wasn’t that bad,” said lead researcher Piercarlo Valdesolo, who conducted this study at Northeastern University and is now a professor at Amherst College.

The study, funded by the university, will be detailed in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

The researchers speculate that instinctive morality results from evolutionary selection for team players. Being fair, they point out, strengthens mutually beneficial relationships and improves our chances for survival.

Loathe to admit

So why do we choose to judge ourselves so leniently?

We have a lot wrapped up in preserving a positive self-image, said Valdesolo, and thus are loathe to admit, even to ourselves, that we sometimes behave immorally.

A flattering self-image is correlated with rewards, such as emotional stability, increased motivation and perseverance. “It is a very functional part of our psychology … but it is not always a desirable one,” explained Valdesolo.

Since, in real life, we can’t drive everyone into a state of pronounced distraction, he continued, the hard part is figuring out how moral instincts may be better harnessed.

When asked if this meant ubiquitous Blackberries and iPods may make society more just, Valdesolo said, laughing, “our research suggests it.”