(333/366) Relaxed

10

November 28, 2012 – This is my Mom, sometime in the late 1960’s or early 1970’s. I loved this old Ski-Doo. It took us everywhere in the winter. My brother used to tow me on an inner tube across the frozen lake out at our cabin. We used it to drag the stove out to the cabin in the winter since there was no other way to get a massive cast iron stove in to the site as the road didn’t go right in.

Mom didn’t hate winter, she just hated being cold (she also hated being too hot). More so later in life. But when I was little, we were always outdoors. You had to be in a place like Prince George where winter took up almost half the year. We skied (downhill and cross-country), we ski-doo’d, we tobogganed. We built snow forts and snowmen, and had snowball fights. We cooked turkeys in a 100 year old cast iron oven in a cabin with no power. We went ice fishing, and we made snow angels. In short, we had fun, regardless of the season.

Maybe that’s partly why winter is still my favourite season as long as it involves snow. When the snow falls in Vancouver you can’t wipe the smile from my face. It makes me a child again.

Today was difficult. Most places I contact are compassionate. But not all. I called Solo Mobile to cancel Mom’s cell phone and the service I received left me in tears. I get that they needed the death certificate, but did they have to ask me three times why I was cancelling? If they listened the first time I wouldn’t have to repeat that my Mother has passed away. And was it even remotely appropriate to ask me if anyone wanted to take over the contract? It was awful.

I had a similar encounter with a woman at Canada Post yesterday – she treated me as if I was trying to do something illegal when I was trying to have Mom’s mail redirected. Simply put, she was a heartless bitch and it left me feeling sick. There were a few other encounters that were equally as terrible and I felt like a weeping child before the day was half out.

Then there was another trip to the funeral home for some formalities – but let it be said that the staff at Assman’s Funeral Services are wonderful, compassionate, and so very, very kind. Viewing the urn we ordered in and deciding on a few other things left me exhausted and in tears. The staff at Spee Dee Printers (which I was shocked was still around) were equally wonderful, and gracious in helping me with the details on a Memorial Card for Mom – though that also left me weak by the time I left. Princess Flowers was wonderful and so helpful. I’ve used them in years past to put together arrangements for Mom, and they were as nice in person as they have always been on the phone. I used to order flowers for Mom regularly, and I have complete trust that they will put together something lovely for the final flower arrangement I will ever order for Mom, but it still leaves me in tears that I won’t be able to do so ever again.

I’m still not sure how I am going to bear up under all of the weight I feel crushing down on me. Kirk is my rock, and Marne – your calls have been helpful, I appreciate your voice more than you can know. Everyone else, with your kind emails, phone calls, and FB messages – they may not seem like much to you, but they have meant the world to me. Thank you all.

Another day, more breathing. More difficult days ahead.