November 14, 2012 – It doesn’t look like much, just a sandwich from Tim Horton’s picked up on the way home tonight. But it takes on a different perspective when you can’t swallow doesn’t it? What little things in your day to day life do you do/eat/drink/etc without ever thinking about? What things do you take for granted and what things would you miss if you couldn’t have them. Not the big things, the little things.
It can put some things into perspective.
Some good things happened at the hospital today, small things, but they were big things in the current situation. I spent the morning with Mom, the doctors came through and spoke with her, but nothing much has changed since she still can’t have blood thinners and we are still waiting for the MRI. Then my Aunt and Uncle arrived and that was a fabulous thing as it has been a few years and the relationship has been strained between Mom and her sister. They live a couple of hours away and when they came through the door, I just felt as if a huge weight had lifted and I didn’t feel quite so alone. To see family was a massive relief, even if they could only stay a few hours.
We were just leaving to go for a bite to eat when the physiotherapists came in to start working with Mom, and with the space being so small we left her in their care and took our leave for awhile. It was fabulous to catch up with my Aunt and Uncle, they are wonderful people and I’ve missed them.
When we came back, the speech and swallowing therapist arrived and she was the one I’ve been hoping to see since I got here. Elaina brought a few things for mom to try – ice chips, water, pudding, diced peaches, and a cookie. Mom has been dying for water and food since she arrived 6 days ago, and she was finally going to be reassessed for her ability to chew and swallow. The ice was heavenly to her, and the water went down pretty well. The pudding worked, but the peaches were a bit problematic as anything that made its way into her left cheek was a bit difficult for her. So needless to say the cookie didn’t work well either. But at the end of the assessment, the therapist declared that Mom could drink again, and could start to eat, as long as the foods are pureed.
That was a massive hurdle that I was hoping for. And Mom looked so happy as well. I asked what time dinner would be and they told me around 5:30pm. So I zipped home to feed the dog and take her for a walk before heading back.
Things didn’t go as smoothly as hoped since the food order didn’t make it into the kitchen staff in time, and her dinner didn’t arrive. I asked the nursing staff if there was anything they could do as it just seemed so cruel. One of the nurses disappeared and when she came back she had soup and jello for Mom. She didn’t eat much, just a few spoonfuls of each, but it was a start and hopefully they will have breakfast sorted out for her in the morning.
Now my biggest agony is how long to stay. I had time budgeted for home Sunday, but I’m reluctant to leave her. She’s not out of the woods, still isn’t on blood thinners, and there is still a risk of another stroke until she is. The other agony is wanting there to be someone who will visit with her everyday. She can’t hold a book yet, and she has trouble lifting her head. She says she doesn’t want TV, and she can’t reach over to get things like her glasses etc off the table, assuming that she could hold a book comfortably anyway. I don’t want her to just lie there because it eats at me that she was immobilized for the better part of 24 hours when she had the stroke.
I just don’t know what to do because there is no timeline on anything.
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