I spent a lot of years in a lab at UBC that saw a large number of visiting researchers and students from other parts of the world. Those years gave me an appreciation of what a strange and difficult language english is to learn. The rules don’t always make a lot of sense. When I stumbled onto this today it made me smile and I thought I’d share it.
Why English is hard to learn
We’ll begin with box; the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, and two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose is never called meese.
You may find a lone mouse, or a house full of mice;
But the plural of houses is houses, not hice.
If I speak of a foot, and you show me two feet,
And I give you a book, would a pair be a beek?
If only one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t two booths be called beeth?
If the singular’s this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be ever called keese?
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him;
But imagine the feminine…she, shis, and shim!
~Anonymous