Why I Love Telus

9

Where to start.

We have Telus phone, internet and mobile sevice. You’d think they would do something, anything, to actually hang on to existing customers but their overbearing attitude seems to be, “well, we had you and wrung you for as much as we could so bugger off if you don’t want to stay and keep paying more”

I seriously dread whenever I actually have to call any one of the Telus lines. I know I am in for a painful series of voice automated dis-service followed by someone who can’t actually do anything more than read what is on their screen. So I usually start off with “Please just patch me in to the next level above you because I know you aren’t going to be able to help.” Sometimes this works, most of the time I am subjected to someone who knows less about computers than I do and I have to suffer through,

“Please go to the Start key”

To which I reply, “I’m on a Mac”.

That is usually greeted with “OK, did you press the Start key? Now do you see Network Preferences?”

“No, I’m on a Mac”

“OK, now choose Network preferences”

“Are you listening to me? I’m on a Mac!”

At this point I usually have to yell to get her attention and get her to just stop blindly reading what her computer monitor is telling her to say. When she finally listens to me…she stumbles around for awhile and usually knocks off some nugget like…”OH, but Mac’s usually just work fine with networking”

“Yes, I know, that’s why I want someone higher up that can speak Mac please?”

And then I am on never, never hold again….which is why I usually start by phoning Apple and avoid, at all costs, calling Telus. And in the end, it’s usually something to do with the Telus modem or router, or lines…

But it wasn’t the internet today, that’s all fine and dandy.

No, today Telus launched the iPhone in BC. And I made the dreaded call. You see, i’ve had the same cellphone number since 1994 when I bought the original Motorola Flip phone and was stuck with a 5 year contract. In 1999 Telus briefly offered a $25/month plan called the Big Deal Promo. 150 regular daytime minutes, evenings (after 7pm) and weekends free (Holidays too). 100 minutes of Canadian Long Distance on weekends included. Voice mail, call waiting, conference calling, and….per second billing. Pretty good plan for a light user like me. I added caller ID and of course, there are those pesky monthly service charges. All of which brings the plan to about $43 per month after taxes. Sure, there are other plans out there that give you things like unlimited calling to your favourite 5 numbers, unlimited texting etc…but they cost more and I don’t text, I find texting annoying. And Telus no longer offers per second billing either, so that’s a big savings. No, I like my plan.

But I want an iPhone too.

So I gritted my teeth and called today. “Hi there, I’d like the iPhone and I don’t want to change my plan”.

The first girl was a bit light headed and actually tried to tell me that the iPhone would only work on an iPhone plan. Really? Then how come thousands of people are buying cracked phones and using them with their existing plans. Please send me to level two, I need some abuse to add to the morning.

Not disappointed either. Got Howard, who was rude and obnoxious.

“Well, you can only get an iPhone on an iPhone plan”

“Really? Fido will offer it with any plan you like…says so right on their webpage, While the iPhone 3G and iPhone 3GS plans allow you to use this device to its fullest and offer savings over separate voice and data plans, they are not the only options available to you. Other pricing options are available. You can choose among our large selection of Fido Monthly Plans. Please call Customer Service at 1-888-481-FIDO (3436) for details. Guess what, we did…and they said no problem. Sign up for any three year contract and get the phone on a discount.”

“Well I don’t understand why you’d even want an iPhone without a data plan, what’s the point if you can’t get your email.”

“Well Howard, it’s like this, there’s this revolutionary invention called WiFi…and if I really find myself at a loss because I am away from my computer (what a thought) I can pick up my email for free without paying a service provider for a service I don’t really care about on my phone. Are you aware that I can buy a jailbroken phone on eBay and just have my ESN switched? But here’s the thing, I’d rather be above board”

Oh darn…she actually knows something, time to switch tactics and just get rude. “Well Paige, there’s just no way we are going to give you a deal on an iPhone. You can escalate it and I can fill in a form and send it on if you want, and someone else will get back to you, but there’s not much point and you’re just wasting your time because they are just going to tell you no, so you can either pay full price or take on a new three year contract on a different plan, or you can go to another company”

“OK Howard, fill out the form please and send me on to someone higher up than you. Oh, and what was your employee number please?”

Am I frustrated? Yes, of course. Am I surprised? No, of course not. It’s just par for the course. Telus seems to have a mandate to get what it can and give no service or incentives in return.

Yes, I love Telus. They will bend over backwards for a new customer, but if you’ve been with them forever, not a bone to toss. In 15 years all they’ve done for me is send me a calendar. Nice.