Finally Married!

It’s done! I never thought I would get married. Just add it to the list of things I said I’d never do that I eventually did do. I really need to be more careful about what I say from now on. I said I’d never teach, I said I’d never go to graduate school, I said I’d never take another physiology course after third year, I said I’d never get married. I have a PhD in fish immunophysiology, I teach fishy courses, and I am now a married woman! How did all that happen!?!?

Backtrack. This is the first time in days I’ve had a chance to take a moment to try and reflect on the wedding.

On Thursday evening people started to arrive. My brother and his family and my father came first. They flew in and rented a minivan and arrived on the North Shore around 8pm. They settled in at their hotel and then came over.

Next were “The Moms”. My Mom and Kirk’s stepmother arrived from PG by bus so Derek and I went downtown to pick them up.

Friday morning, Kirk and I were up early and off to the flower wholesale warehouse in Burnaby. I had set up a wholesale account using Kirk’s work business number. I just couldn’t part with the amount of money that the florists wanted. When you are trying to organize a wedding on your own, and are paying for it yourself, you tend to get a little thrifty…I truly had no concept of what everything would cost. Anyway, we went out and picked up the flower order early on. Back home, unload the flowers.

The Moms arrive and we start to prepare the flowers. 30 daisies had to be wire wrapped. Mom and Charlotte did a great job. They wandered over to the grocery store as we were totally unprepared for providing nibbles for the crowd that was about to descend on us. Kirk went out to get the beer keg and I had a little bit of quiet time in which I wrapped each of those 30 wired daisies with floral tape and assembled the two bridesmaids bouquets.

Kirk’s sister, brother-in-law, two nieces and his nephew arrived Friday morning. They couldn’t get into their hotel until late afternoon so they did some sightseeing and then came over later on. Finally, my best friend and bridesmaid, and her husband (Kirk’s emergency best man), and their two kids arrived. Wow! Did we have a full little condo with 17 people all crammed in here.

Marne put together boutonnieres and corsages, her daughter, Kira, wrapped all the vases with ribbon, and I worked on my mini calla bouquet. I had found some “black” callas (really, really dark purple) that I thought would complement the white ones and go with the black and white theme nicely.

Flowers were completed and the entire crew met for dinner at Taylor’s Crossing for dinner before turning in for the night. Well, everyone else did anyway. Kirk and I were still trying to finalize our music playlist and get it all on the laptop, print out out table place-cards, finish writing our vows….finally crawled into bed around 12:30 am and woke up at around 4:30 am. I hate being an insomniac!

So we dragged ourselves out of bed around 8am and the Birches arrived at 9 am to help get vehicles loaded with all the stuff that has been accumulating in our apartment for the past 6 weeks. Kirk and I realized we needed another vehicle so we zipped out and rented a PT cruiser for Marne, Kendra, Kira and I to get around in for the morning.

Back home with the rental, fill it with flowers, head to the yacht club to meet everyone else and start to get set up. Pat and crew were already there in the kitchen. they had been up late the night before with their own crew preparing all the food.

Marne and I walk in and realize a problem right off the bat. The table set up is wrong. We can’t get near the fireplace which is where we are to get married. I whip out my arrangement, and we start shifting tables. Finally we get a couple set up and the room is an absolute hive of activity. Even the kids have been put to work. At about 10 ma Kirk is trying to get me out the door, I finally get pushed out with my girls at about 10:30…a half hour behind schedule already. We make it to the salon, actually get parking in Yaletown right away (shocking) and get into the salon.

Kendra (my niece) was adorable. Joni washed her hair and put it up in rollers. This little wisp of a girl looked so precious! Kirk had a nice blow dry, Marne was fancied up, and Derek curled and pinned up bits of my hair in a soft look. Zoom, out the door and back to the North Shore…when we realized that Kendra had no food…quick stop at Timmy’s then off for makeup. Dave whipped in and collected Kira and then there was just the three of us. Kendra is the quietest little girl. We plunked her on a stool while Marne and I had our makeup applied. She just sat there, ate her bagel and read her book. I had to peek over every so often just to make sure she was actually still there!

Zoom, back out the door, a quick stop at home to grab the dresses…whoops, Kirk is home “I won’t tell if you won’t tell” ! Rush back out the door and Pass Dave and Travis on the way in. “You didn’t see us”!

Down to the yacht club, Kendra looks at me and asks “Auntie Paige, where are we going to get dressed?” “On the boat” I reply. A big pair of confused eyes study me to see if I am joking. I realize that she hasn’t been on a boat like Frank & Janet’s before. She probably thinks we are going on a small speedboat. I reassure her that it is a very large and comfortable boat and we will be inside. We collect our photographer and zip down to the boat. Only 15 minutes behind schedule. Off the dock and away we go. Frank pops a lifejacket on Kendra and she settles into the couch with her book for the ride.

Frank winds the boat up and we are under the bridge and out in the open. Marne asks how we are going to get dressed and I answer that I assume Frank will pull in to a bay and float. I ask Andy, our photographer if he will ask. He returns saying that Frank will slow it down so we can dress. Oh, this is going to be interesting.

Kendra goes first. So grateful that my bridesmaid is also a mother…I have no idea how to get a 9 year old into pantyhose. Marne does an amazing job. Shakes he right down into them and one down. Two to go. Marne is next. She slips her dress on and I get he zipped up. My turn. A little more complicated. Stockings, skirt and peplum go on easily. Time to get a corset manoeuvered over my head. Done…now let’s see if we can get this thing laced up. Marne wedges herself in the door and we can see and hear waves coming over the hatch….lumpy out there! I hang on and wedge myself between the bed and the cabinet. It was entertaining.

Finally, all put together. We arrive off Eagle Harbour and two other vessels owned by friends arrive to meet us and lead us in. Les, – in Puppy – sounds 5 blasts of the horn….very funny…it means “Standing into Danger”.  Frank’s boat backs in to the dock and we are met by two of our boating friends to assist us in disembarking. The three of us wait while our various bags are retrieved. I step back and my heel goes straight through a crack in the dock and I almost tumble backwards. I hear a comment and laughter and look up….all of our guests are outside on the balconies watching! I had thought everyone would be inside….thank goodness I didn’t fall!

We make our way carefully down the dock and up the ramp, I feel like I am a bit of a spectacle….how do I get everyone inside? I wait and smile, but everyone takes pictures…OK, no choice but to lead them in. Then we lost Kendra…Marne finds her and brings her back. We dole out bouquets….Daniel starts the music. No traditional wedding march today…the song I walked in to was Yaz – Only You.

Kendra went first, then Marne, then me on my Dad’s arm. Just before we went in, I realized I had no tissue….my Dad pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to me. It was perfect. I had managed something old, something new, and something blue….but I had nothing borrowed….now I had something borrowed.

All the guests had lined up and I had a very narrow path of people to navigate, round the corner and the fireplace came into view. there was Kirk, smiling at me. The guests followed us in and stood in a semi circle around us. Marion, our Marriage Commissioner took charge and delivered the ceremony. Kirk’s eyes were welling up and i knew if he cried I would lose it. He held it together and so did I, at least until we got to the personal vows. I survived his, but then it was my turn.

With no pockets, the only place I had to put my vows was down the front of my dress, so in a moment of comic relief, I reached in and whipped them out and got a good laugh. I did OK on the first line, wavered on the second, and started crying on the third. And of course I had handed my bouquet with the hankie to Marne. Marion had two tissues folded up in her book and I slipped one out to use.

Kirk and I exchanged rings…and it was another fun moment…it’s hard to slide a ring on someone’s finger…but he was getting that thing over my knuckle if it was the last thing he ever did! I let him push his on the rest of the way…. 😉

And then Marion introduced us as Paige and Kirk, for the first time as a married couple.

And Brian cued the music…Great Big Sea “It’s the end of the world as we know it….and I feel fine…!” followed by Queen “You’re my Best Friend”

We opened the bar, and did some family photos outside on the deck before slipping down to the beach with Dave and Marne for some fun shots. I should mention that the weather forecast for the day a week ago was for rain. Just a few days before, it was changed and the rain was pushed off until Sunday. We got a beautiful day and the clouds moved in as it was getting dark. it could not have been more perfect!

The only negative thing that happened was that Kirk’s father missed it. He did drive all the way from Prince George to Vancouver and arrived…we could see him sitting in his truck watching us having the photos taken on the beach. We saw Kirk’s sister’s family come out and speak with him, and when the sun went behind the clouds and we started to shiver uncontrollably, we went and spoke with him. He wished us well, and said he would go and find a hotel and return. Sadly, he did not. He drove out of town. I am saddened for Kirk that Bob didn’t come and join us, but I also choose to be glad for him that his father did show the love to drive so far to wish us well in person.

We returned to the clubhouse for toasts. My Uncle spoke and said some wonderful things …and pointed out that he and I share genes, therefore Kirk obviously has a wonderful trait ….tolerance. Several of my oldest friends came and sat with us at our table (we did not do a traditional head table, instead we sat with friends) and got up to say such lovely…and a few damning, things. And I realized that we are truly gifted with some amazingly wonderful people in our lives. I can’t express how honoured we feel to have had all of these amazing people at our celebration, but that so many of them helped us pull it off… if I was religious I would say that I feel blessed, but I am not, so I will have to leave it at overwhelmed with love and gratefulness. I realized that there had been no strangers involved in our wedding save for a young man as a photographer, but we hit it off a few weeks earlier, when we met, and the Marriage Commissioner…and even she just felt “right” The rings were through a friend who is a jeweler, the cake was made by another friend, the food was by friends, all the flowers were done by myself, our Mothers and our friends, the venue was sponsored via friends, it was decorated by friends and family, we came in on a boat that is owned by friends, our bartender was a friend… it’s absolutely astonishing, and that is what made the day so entirely special.

Dinner was fantastic (particularly since all I had managed to get into me by this time was an apple at around 1pm). And again, I am so grateful to all the friends who did so much work to help us get this off the ground. The cake was perfect!

Then we danced and socialized until we had to say goodbye. We cleaned up the clubhouse, turned off the lights, smiled and locked the door. The day could not have been more perfect. The only casualty was a single broken wine glass.

As we drove away, rain drops began to hit the windshield. How could we have been so lucky?

Kirk carried me over the threshold and we were exhausted. The last even to round out the night was when I asked Kirk if he could help me undo the laces on the corset (no arguments there) and as I shifted…the lace broke at the top….I suppose all the dancing chafed the lace against the eyelet and it frayed….but what timing…the same wardrobe malfunction any earlier would have been a little less amusing.

And now my Bridesmaid and Kirk’s Best Man have just left for the airport. We had the luxury of having them around for a couple of extra days to relax and enjoy their company. I’m sad they are gone, it was so wonderful to have them here…and it feels like it was such a whirlwind…likely because it was.

And it’s finally over….or rather, after 23 years together, we have found a new beginning.

More photos here…..