When Did the World Get so Uptight?

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When did people forget how to say “Excuse me” and “please” and “thank you”?

When did it become acceptable to fail to hold a door open for someone?

When did it become OK for a young person to fail to give up a seat to a senior ar a less able person?

When did people start flipping you the bird when you let them know they have a low tire?

When did people forget that a lineup starts at the front and the most recent person goes to the back?

When did it become OK to drive slowly in the fast lane and not move over to let traffic flow?

When did the service representative turn into a computerized voice?

When did avoiding eye contact begin to absolve us of involvement?

Is it just me, or is the world getting ruder, less tolerant? Maybe our parents thought the same of our generation, maybe there isn’t really a change and we just notice it the older we get. Or maybe we are spiralling into a less civil society. Certainly I look at many older people and think to myself “I do NOT want to be that bitter person when I reach his/her age.”

I wonder if it has something to do with the changes in how we communicate with the world. When the computer came along, it was a wonderful tool. then cell phones arrived and we were connected all the time. Then email arrived and we found new ways to communicate, ways that didn’t require the usual social contextual greetings. But I still find it offensive when I receive emails that don’t start with a greeting, have the meat and potatoes of the message, and end with a salutation. Email ettiquette is a huge pet peeve of mine.

The formal letter appears to have died somewhere along the line, and along with it went a style that was an important part of communication.

Dear So and So,

How are you? We’ve had wonderful weather…blah, blah, blah.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely (or Cheers, or Regards, or whatever salutation you choose and is appropriate for the relationship you have with the recipient),

Me.

Is that so difficult?

Instead I get emails from total strangers that say things like ” I want to join your organization but can’t find any useful information on the site!” OK, let’s start with “Hi there” That’s not so tough is it? And it set us off on a pleasant tone. Then maybe a bit of information….that helps me out with identifying the issue and makes me want to assist….then a sign-off…”I hope you can help me out. Sincerely, So and So” Now I really want to help you out. I have to admit that it’s been years since I actually put a real pen to a real pice of paper. Wrote that letter. Put it in an envelope and sealed it. Placed a stamp on it and got it into a mailbox. But I still follow the traditional format of a letter in virtually every email I write unless it is a back-and-forth dialogue going on over a period ion one day or so.

My grandmother was a wise woman. She always told me that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. And it’s true.

It’s easy to be rude. It takes work to be civil. And people are getting lazier, I think.

In her 1922 Etiquette, Mrs. Emily Post states the point succinctly: “Beneath its myriad rules, the fundamental purpose of etiquette is to make the world a pleasanter place to live in, and you a more pleasant person to live with.”

Simple etiquette makes a difference in our everyday lives, and it’s not something to be dismissed lightly……

………….or maybe I’m just getting old….