Now this is unexpected!

by The Philosophical Fish

Have you ever looked after someone’s home while they are on holidays? Of course you have..

Have you ever locked yourself out? Embarrassing to admit…but probably….

Have you ever found yourself locked IN your vacationing neighbours home? Now there’s a unique predicament!

So my neighbour has been away for a month. She took her cat along so all I was doing was picking up mail, keeping her orchids alove, and moving the blinds around a bit to give the place some life. No problems…until yesterday that is. The day she and her son are due to come home I might add.

So I pick up her mail, take it over, open the blinds, check that all is well, set the alarm and move to exit. I turn the door knob and pull….nothing….I pull again…still nothing. I think “Ah, you idiot, you set the deadbolt when you came in” ….uh….no, deadbolt is open…..survival kicks in…turn off the alarm before it goes off Paige!

Think….why would the door choose to not open…it turns, I feel the spring….is someone playing a joke on me? Look through the peephole…no one there….puzzled….

Now what?

Ransack the apartment entry area for tools, find nothing. Thank goodness she lives on the ground floor, thank goodness I have my keys with me…out the back sliders and intot eh yard, open the gate, great, a four foot drop, no big deal when one isn’t recuperating from sprained ankles. Ouch, down I go and around the front. Find a screwdriver at home, back in the back door and remove the doorknob. No apparent reason for it’s malfunction, I reattach and the door opens. Whew. Solved it. Shut the door, set the alarm…..door knob won’t open.

Is this a joke!?!?!?

Turn off the alarm, grab screwdriver, remove knob, stick back in, outside knob flies into hallway. Oh that must look great. Out the back door, over the cliff, around the building, in the front, down the hall retrieve knob, back outside, clamber back into yard, in slider, back to front door, stick knob in, outside knob flies across hall again. F*??!?!@@K!

Back out, back down, back around, into own home, find packing tape, into hall, tape knob to door, back out, back up, back in, stick knob in, screw back in, turn knob, something goes “ting” and knob ceases to function….again.

Tape inside knob to door, back out, back around, into own home…call Kirk….”What do I do!?!?” I need to get the knob out so I can at least replace it with scavenged bedroom knob from own home. But need to get door open to remove lock mechanism…can’t get door open. “Use a credit card that you don’t like” says he.

Back out with old HBC points card. Spot upstairs neighbour in hall….”HELP” “Need assistance breaking into neighbours apartment”. Sideways look. “No, she’s away and I’ve been looking after it, was just locked in for 20 minutes” “Alarm is off” :Honest!!!” “Look, I have keys”

Un-tape doorknobs, He stays in the hall, I go round and climb in again. He says “do you have a pair of pliers” “…yes….in my place…” Back out, back down, back around, find pliers…. hand off…finally! Door is open!

I deadbolt it and head over to disassemble my bedroom door and temporarily use it to give her a knob until she returns home….today….

When I go to install it I decide to take a closer look at why hers malfunctioned. There is a nylon flippy thing that is completely backwards to my own, I decide to see if I can repair hers, Pry it all open and flip it about…it works! I check multiple times…not going to get locked in again….seems OK. I close the door and arm the alarm and hold my breath.

I am free! And I have sore feet!

I warn her emphatically when she arrives home several hours later…..”Get a new knob”

Well, that was an unexpectedly entertaining afternoon.