I LOVE this video!!! I try to visit TED for some inspiration and mind expansion every so often, and today I stumbled on this talk. It was funny to have come across it now, since I had been doing some journaling on something akin to the subject and hadn’t had the time to post it. After reading this I went back and found that train of thought in its unfinished format and finally finished it below.
It’s funny, but I’ve done so many things and stood in so many different worlds, that I don’t hide from any past experiences. And I don’t hide any of them from anyone else either. I used to, but that was when I thought it really mattered, and for the most part, it doesn’t. I am a former hairdresser with a PhD in immunophysiology. I am a former aquarium store assistant manager who currently provides biological support for Federal fish hatcheries. I am a former night club worker who currently teaches fourth year University courses in fish diseases and aquaculture. I am a former University College instructor who currently teaches marine VHF Radio to the public on a volunteer basis. I am a former music student who appreciates listening rather than playing – and most other people probably do too :). I am a former competitive synchronized swimmer who enjoys boating/sailing, both here and in the Mediterranean. I am a former tom-boy who now enjoys painted nails and sparkly jewellery. I am a former arts and sciences student who still loves and participates both activities. I am a former Northern Interior resident who much prefers living on the South Coast. I am a former SCUBA diver who loves riding scooters and motorcycles. I am a downhill skier who never liked cross country skiing, but I did it anyway, and I didn’t do so well on a snowboard and tried to break my wrist, but I tried! I am a former canoeist who fell in love with kayaking. I am a former PC user who now extolls the virtues of Mac.
The ebb and flow of our lives provides so many opportunities for experiences and we can box them up and put them on a shelf, or we can use them to round out our lives and provide positive perspective on where we are and who we are now.
When I was in University I used to hide the fact that I was a hairdresser. I thought it would make people think less of me, think less of my abilities. That was a terrible thing to think because it meant that on some level I thought that about the people I had shared years working with. I came to realize that I was actually proud of those years, because they had given me amazingly positive life experiences, and life skills, that many others don’t have. I had gained the ability to talk to, work with, and deal with, just about any personality that I could ever be presented with. It gave me the ability to see other points of view, to listen carefully, to empathize. A hairdresser is like a bartender, they hear all the sordid details, all the heartbreaks, and the joys, of their clients. They also work in a world of fashion and jealousy. It was an interesting time in my life, I worked in that industry, on the side, through some part of each of my three University degrees, and I am thankful for it because it grounded me in two worlds. The academic one, and the public one. I have not hidden the fact that I worked in the hairdressing industry for a long time, and more often than not, people are fascinated to find out that the PhD teaching them fish health used apply colours to people’s hair.
What brought this to mind was nothing to do with hair though, it was that a colleague was over from the Island the other day for a meeting. Before the meeting we were chatting about this and that, and a connection came up that brought some other past to the forefront. We are both involved in reviewing and trying to provide some guidance to a Federal aquatic disease surveillance program and another woman who is putting together a sampling program came up in conversation. She is the former wife/partner to a man who won a position that I had been in a competition for (the fish world is very small). When I lost that particular competition it had sent me into a tailspin and left me floundering for awhile. I’m ashamed to say that I wallowed in self pity for awhile, for too long, but I came out of it a long time ago. She was surprised that I bore him no ill will and that my take on the process was that it went exactly how it should have gone. From her position, and that of some others, I got screwed over royally, but I don’t see it that way at all. The fellow who won the position deserved it, and the University College could not have chosen me over him. I knew that was going to be the outcome before the interviews ever took place, I knew the result as soon as I learned who my competition was. There were three of us in the running. Me, a vet without any academic teaching history, and an assistant professor from an Eastern University. I knew beating out the vet would be a cakewalk because her CV was shorter than mine and didn’t include important teaching credentials that I had achieved, but there was simply no way that the committee could choose me over the other guy. He was farther along in his career than I was, had research grants in his pocket, and had a proven record of supervising graduate students. The result was exactly what I expected it would be. And the great thing is, that I can look at where things went at that faculty from an outside perspective (now) and thank my lucky stars that I didn’t end up there. It has turned into an ugly toxic soup of recurring layoffs and unachieved goals. I never wanted to leave Vancouver, so really, everything worked out the way it should have and I am ultimately happy that it did. Hindsight is an amazing thing, particularly positive hindsight.
I think my point is that everything we do, everyone we meet, every achievement, every failure, every gain, every loss, every ex-boyfriend/lover, every ex-colleague. They all make up who we are because they all shape how we deal with the world around us, how we deal with people, and how we deal with situations. Sweeping something under the rug does a disservice to the experience and the time that it took in our lives, learning from the negative outcomes, but finding the positive aspects not only makes you a happier person, it makes you a more interesting person.
They say that the past is a window to our future. That we are creatures of habit and that we have patterns that we take with us wherever we go, no matter what we do. If we are smart we can analyze those patterns and figure out how to make them work for us instead of against us. We can use the past the make a better present, and to shape our future. Or we can hide from the past, try to forget it, or blame others for our inability to get where we are going, or to achieve the things we dream for, but that’s usually a recipe for failure since it generally seeps out in ways that aren’t beneficial or conducive for happiness.
The past is my friend, because it helps me in the present, and I think it will continue to do so in the future, as long as I remember to see the positives first and foremost, and remember to turn the negatives into more positives.